


seven minutes

by sxftmelody



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 03:13:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18044393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxftmelody/pseuds/sxftmelody
Summary: When she closes her eyes, the only image she can see is the image of Jinsol’s face, fresh tears running down her cheeks and heartbreak etched all over her features.





	seven minutes

**_i forgot to love you_ **

 

Jungeun drives through the dark, empty streets, trying hard not to let her vision blur over with incoming tears. 

 

She exhales shakily and presses down on the brakes as she nears a stop sign. The car comes to a stop. Jungeun takes the moment to close her eyes, to gather her thoughts and go over what had just transpired a mere minute ago.

 

But when she closes her eyes, the only image she can see is the image of Jinsol’s face, fresh tears running down her cheeks and heartbreak etched all over her features.

 

She forces her eyes open in an instant, pressing on the gas pedal and bringing her car into motion once more. Jungeun shakes her head and feels her grip on the steering wheel tighten. Her knuckles turn white. Her jaw tightens.

  
  
  


_ “Get out.” _

 

_ Jinsol had said, voice shaky and eyes watery. _

 

_ “Please… just leave.” _

 

_ And Jungeun had listened. _

  
  
  


Jungeun tries to forget how she heard a sob come from Jinsol after she’d closed the door behind her as she left. She tries to rid herself of the guilt she felt for still walking down Jinsol’s front steps even though she knows she should’ve turned around.

 

Jungeun drives by a familiar building, a building that has ‘Love Letter’ shining bright above its entrance with neon letters. She forces herself to look ahead, but that doesn’t stop her brain from causing memories of their first encounter to resurface.

  
  
  


_ “Hey.” _

 

_ Jungeun’s so exhausted, she barely even lifts her gaze as she responds back, “Hi.” _

 

_ “You seem a bit down,” the bartender says, her voice warm. _

 

_ Jungeun lets out an emotionless laugh, “Yeah, you can say that.” _

 

_ “Do you want a drink?” _

 

_ “I don’t drink.” _

 

_ “It doesn’t have to be an alcoholic drink,” the bartender says with a chuckle, and something about the way she laughs makes Jungeun look up.  _

 

_ Upon making eye-contact, Jungeun feels her heart jump to her throat. The bartender’s striking blonde hair is done up into a bun, messy strands of hair framing her beautiful face. Even in the darkness of the club, Jungeun can see a twinkle in the girl’s eyes and can even spot the hint of a dimple in her cheek as she smiles. _

 

_ “I…” Jungeun trails off, “Sure.” _

 

_ “Is orange juice alright?” the bartender’s small grin turns into a wider smile. _

 

_ “Orange juice is fine,” Jungeun nods. The blonde girl turns around to retrieve something, placing a cup in front of Jungeun and then pouring the juice into it. _

 

_ “Do you wanna talk about it?’ she asks as she pours Jungeun’s drink. _

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ “Whatever’s making you upset,” the girl clarifies, “I’m a good listener.” _

 

_ Jungeun raises an eyebrow skeptically, “You’d listen?” _

 

_ The bartender hums and nods, leaning forward as she rests her elbows on the counter, placing her chin into the palm of her right hand. _

 

_ “My name’s Jinsol.” _

 

_ And, for the first time in a while, Jungeun feels her lips curve upwards in a genuine smile. One that isn’t forced, not like the ones she’s had to plaster on her face everyday. She feels a weight lift off her shoulders. She feels like she’s floating as she smiles back at the bartender—at  _ **_Jinsol_ ** _. _

 

_ “I’m Jungeun.” _

  
  
  


It’s been nearly two years since that night. Since Jungeun’s poured out her heart to that warm bartender whose name she’d learned was Jinsol. 

 

_ Her _ Jinsol…

 

Or… was Jinsol ever even  _ hers _ ?

 

Gritting her teeth, Jungeun shakes her head. 

 

No, she wasn’t. Jinsol was never hers and she was never Jinsol’s. 

 

Hell,  _ that’s  _ why they’d even begun arguing in the first place.

 

That’s why Jinsol had been upset.

  
  
  


_ “Why are you so scared?” Jinsol asks sadly, “It’s just me.” _

 

_ “It’s not  _ **_just_ ** _ you, Jinsol—it  _ **_is_ ** _ you,” Jungeun replies hastily, “I mean… we’re fine the way we are, aren’t we?” _

 

_ “I told you,” Jinsol murmurs, “it’s not enough.” _

 

_ “Well, it’s all that I’m ready for,” Jungeun hisses, “can we stop with this conversation?” _

 

_ Jinsol looks away, eyes flickering to the ground. She sniffles and shakes her head, “Are you  _ **_ever_ ** _ going to be ready?” _

 

_ “What?” Jungeun asks in disbelief. _

 

_ “It’s been two years—” _

 

_ “Jinsol—” _

 

_ “ _ **_No_ ** _ , Jungeun,” Jinsol says through gritted teeth. Her eyes snap up to meet Jungeun’s, fresh tears building up in them, “it’s been  _ **_two_ ** _ years since we met.  _ **_Two_ ** _. Two years full of days spent with each other, two years full of…  _ **_whatever_ ** _ we are. Is it so wrong of me to want something more? Something stable and… and  _ **_real_ ** _.” _

 

_ “What? You don’t think what we have is real?” _

 

_ “You’re twisting my words,” Jinsol has to hold back a frustrated sob, “that’s not what I meant.” _

 

_ Jungeun toys with the keys in her hand, eyes staring directly into Jinsol’s. _

 

_ “Don’t you trust me?” Jinsol asks in a brokenhearted whisper. _

 

_ “Of course I do,” Jungeun answers in a heartbeat, “of course I trust you.” _

 

_ “Then why don’t you want to be with me? To  _ **_really_ ** _ be with me?” _

 

_ “It’s not because of you,” Jungeun says. _

 

_ Jinsol lets out a chuckle, wet and emotionless, “You’re going to pull the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line on me right now? Seriously?” _

 

_ “Jinsol…” Jungeun frowns. _

 

_ “Get out,” Jinsol commands, shaking her head. _

 

_ Jungeun takes a step forward. _

 

_ Jinsol takes one back. _

 

_ “Please… just leave.” _

  
  
  


Jungeun’s feet press down on the brakes.

 

There isn’t a stop sign nearby, but she stops.

 

She stops the car in the middle of the street and fishes her phone out of her back pocket, nearly dropping it because of her trembling hands. She opens it and clicks onto Jinsol’s contact information, tempted to call the girl. 

 

Jungeun wants to call her and tell her that she’s coming back. 

 

She wants to glue the pieces of their shattered hearts back together, but she stops.

 

She wonders if it’s too late, if Jinsol would even bother taking her back.

 

… 

 

_ There’s only one way to find out… _

 

Jungeun clicks ‘call’.

 

… 

 

The call instantly goes to voicemail.

 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Jungeun tosses the phone onto the passenger seat and starts driving again. 

 

She makes a U-turn and heads back towards Jinsol’s house with her heart hammering against her chest.

 

It doesn’t take her long to pull up to Jinsol’s house and she shuts the engine off as soon as she puts the car into park, practically jumping out of the car and running up to the front steps.

 

Jungeun still has Jinsol’s house keys attached to the lanyard Jinsol had bought for her a year ago; a red lanyard decorated with tiny little cartoon owls.

 

She opens the door and spots a sobbing Jinsol on the living room floor. With her heart rapidly breaking into a million pieces at the sight, Jungeun shuts the door behind her and rushes forward. She falls onto her knees in front of Jinsol and wraps the girl up into her arms.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jungeun says as her own tears begin to fall, “I’m so fucking stupid. I can’t believe I walked out. I shouldn’t have walked out, Jinsol—I should’ve stayed and—and…”

 

“I told you to leave,” Jinsol pulls away. Jungeun lets her.

 

“I know you did,” Jungeun whispers, “but… I can’t lose you, Jinsol. Not like this.”

 

Jinsol wipes at the tears on her cheeks but there’s really no point considering they just continue to stream down her face, “You’ve made it pretty clear that you’re not ready—”

 

“I am,” Jungeun cuts her off, “I am ready, Jinsol—”

 

“No you’re not,” Jinsol replies, “you’re only saying that because you don’t want to lose me. You don’t want a relationship.”

 

“I want  **you** ,” Jungeun says desperately, “and whatever it takes for me to keep you in my life, to—to make you happy and—”

 

“Stop,” Jinsol murmurs, “if you’re not ready, then you’re not ready.”

 

“I  **am** ready,” Jungeun cries, “I’m just  **scared** !”

 

Jinsol pauses at the outburst, taken aback at Jungeun’s confession.

 

“I am so fucking  _ scared  _ of doing something wrong and—and fucking everything up,” Jungeun admits shakily, “I’m fucking terrified, Jinsol—and I—I never made anything official because I figured… I figured it’d hurt less when I lost you if we weren’t even a thing to begin with.”

 

“It’s been two years,” Jinsol reminds Jungeun, “you’ve had this mindset for two years?”

 

“Yes,” Jungeun answers, “everything was just… too good to be true. Nothing in my life has ever lasted this long, Jinsol; not my happiness, not the people,  _ nothing _ .”

 

“I wasn’t going to  _ leave  _ you, Jungeun,” Jinsol says, a hurt tone in her voice.

 

“I know you weren’t,” Jungeun replies, “but it was me being confident that you weren’t going to leave me that scared me. I’ve never been so trusting in someone else, Jinsol— _ never _ . You’re… you’re the only person I’ve put this much trust in, and I fucked it up like I knew I was going to.”

 

“You didn’t fuck it up,” Jinsol mumbles.

 

“Yes, I did,” Jungeun says, “I hurt you. Fuck, Jinsol—I  _ left _ you.”

 

“But you came back,” Jinsol points out with quivering lips and wide, glossy eyes, “... What made you come back?”

 

“ _ You _ , of course,” Jungeun answers in a heartbeat, “Jinsol, I—I love you.”

 

This renders them into a thick silence. 

 

These were the three words that the two of them had always danced around for the past two years; Jinsol for the fear of Jungeun running away if she said them and Jungeun for the fear of Jinsol not reciprocating.

 

Love was something they’d felt together but had never expressed, and to hear the first ‘I love you’ coming from Jungeun is… surprising.

 

Jungeun exhales shakily after a moment, almost as if she’s been defeated somehow. Jinsol’s quick to speak up, to stop whatever self-deprecating thoughts Jungeun’s thinking of.

 

“Jungeun, I… I love you, too,” she says.

 

Jungeun’s eyes widen.

 

“But… I don’t want to force you into anything you’re not ready for.”

 

Jungeun frowns, “I just told you that I  **am** ready for this; for a  _ real  _ relationship with you.”

 

“I know, but… I just don’t want you to regret anything,” Jinsol mumbles, “if we’re going to do this, we need to do this together.”

 

“I’ve made a lot of dumb decisions in my life, Jinsol, but being with you sure as hell isn’t one of them,” Jungeun says sternly, eyebrows furrowed.

 

The sentence makes Jinsol smile the slightest bit. 

 

She sniffles and wipes at her nose with the tissue in her hand.

 

Jungeun hesitantly reaches forward and places her hand on Jinso’s knee, “I’m sorry for leaving you.”

 

“You weren’t gone for long,” Jinsol says, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“Seven minutes,” Jungeun replies, “I was gone for seven minutes.”

 

… 

 

“Did you actually count?”

 

Jungeun nods, “It felt like an eternity.”

 

Jinsol scoffs, “Now, that’s just cheesy.”

 

They smile at each other, wiping each other’s tears and then pressing their foreheads together.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jungeun whispers, “if… if you’d give me another chance, I’ll try my hardest not to fuck it up again.”

 

“ _ Idiot _ ,” Jinsol chuckles lightly, “of course I’ll give you another chance.”

 

Jungeun smiles and presses her lips against Jinsol’s.

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @sxft_aus  
> cc: @sxft_aus


End file.
